Credibility! Got it?

Are you Credible, or Incredible?

The other day I was having coffee with my friend Penny Bramwell-Jones, and the topic of credibility came up. Penny is almost famous and is so close to tremendous success as an executive coach that it’s painful to watch her agonizing about her credibility. She is probably the top voice and drama coach in the country (maybe in Africa), having worked in theater since high school and professional voice coaching for 11 years. She has trained numerous celebrities and politicians from around the world.

Now, you may know that life coaches, therapists and consultants rely heavily on their credibility to get new clients. Of course, this is true for just about everyone, and the issue of credibility is universal, no matter what business you’re in. By credibility I mean

1.  Believability: the ability to inspire belief or trust

2.  Willingness to believe: a willingness to accept what someone says as true

3.  Status: somebody’s status as an acceptable person among a group of people

So how does one create credibility? When I first started working with people one-on-one (back in 2001, I was just 21), I was naive and self confident. My credibility stemmed from the fact that I had just completed a course in TIR (Traumatic Incident Reduction) and I seemed to get good results on other students. The course was about a month of full time study. That was all I needed and I was able to clock in over a hundred hours within a year, mostly with rave reviews. Needless to say, with my enthusiasm and belief, I became rather good at TIR. Other course graduates that were older and believed that they needed credibility before they could successfully treat others, didn’t do that many hours, and many did none at all after the course.

A few years later I read an Anthony Robbins book called “Awaken the Giant Within”, in which Tony describes a few techniques from the body of knowledge known as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). I did the techniques on myself and was amazed at how simple, easy and effective they were. I then proceeded to treat everyone that came to me with a problem with NLP. In terms of hours, I have probably done a good 200 to 300 hours of NLP. This year I attended a course where many of the attendees were NLP practitioner course graduates. During the break we got into discussion about what techniques worked best for their clients. And guess what I discovered, most of the NLP course graduates had not had a single client, even a year after their course completion. Why? Because they felt they needed more credibility first in order to treat people.

In 2008 I had already been practicing “full time” as an alternative therapist for about a year and a half. Business was OK, but I felt like I needed to officially branch out into Life Coaching. By this time I had learned about credibility, and I had also learned insecurity, and created several self esteem issues for myself because of it. It was around this time that I attracted a very special client into my life. One who’s real purpose in my life was only recently realized.

This guy is a millionaire many times over, highly intelligent, well educated, and at the top of his game. After our second session, he hired me to listen to him and question him, for 2 hours a day, twice a week. I was nervous and unsure I could deliver what he wanted. At the time, the work I was doing with him was so different from therapy that I seriously doubted I was adding any value. A few weeks into our work together I asked him if he felt he was getting the value he expected. What he said to me was quite profound, although at the time I didn’t think so. His answer has changed the way I see myself and the work that I do.

He said “Jonathan, I can’t talk to anybody else about this stuff. Firstly, I don’t want my friends and colleagues to know this, and secondly I don’t need business advice, I need a fresh perspective from someone that is not involved in the business.”

The only thing I wanted to get out of that question at the time was “Yes, I’m getting good value.” so that I could, with a clear conscience, send my invoice. We worked together in this way for several months and we became good friends.

What I got from working with this client was far more than money. The nuggets of business wisdom, leadership and management are too numerous to mention and I may share some of them in other articles. Let’s get back to our topic of credibility.

I asked my friend Penny why she had not yet started executive coaching, which she told me she was going to do more than a year ago. She has intense desire to do so, she has specialised knowledge, and many years of relevant experience. Her answer to me was rather shocking.

She said “I don’t have enough grey hair. When I have grey hair and look older, then I’ll have credibility. For now I’ll just continue with what I’m doing and in 6 years time I’ll be 40, then I’ll start executive coaching.

It was at that very moment that my clients answer really hit me and two things became exceedingly clear. Firstly, the need for credibility is partly a self created sabotage pattern, partly false beliefs, and mostly just an excuse to not get started. And secondly, coaches, therapists and consultants have a skewed perception of what makes them credible with their prospective clients.

No matter what business you’re in, if you have a skewed perception of what your client really wants and needs, it’s unlikely that you’ll do as well as you can because you’ll be limiting yourself and appealing to a need that the client might not value as much as you think. On top of that, and possibly more importantly, your credibility goes out the window because you won’t be congruent. When your thoughts, feelings, words and actions are in alignment, you have congruity and that inspires trust, which equals instant credibility.

The common questions people ask themselves just before sabotaging themselves are:

How can I, as a young person teach and coach an older more experienced person?

How can I teach success, manifestation and the Law of Attraction if I have money problems and drive a beat up 1986 Opel Kadett?

How can I heal others if I am not in perfect, radiant health?

How can any coach, therapist or consultant teach where he is not personally successful?

If your answer to the these questions is “Of course I can’t, that’s obvious, there’s no way I can help others unless my life is perfect” Then lucky for you, I know exactly what the deeper, underlying issue is.

If you said “Yes, I can!” to the above, then I agree with you. Here’s why; wealthy people don’t  hire an executive life coach for money making or investment advice, actors and actresses don’t hire a life coach for acting or career advice, sports people don’t want sports advice, sales people don’t want sales advice, depressed people don’t want depressed advice, do you get the picture.

So what do all these people want? They want to change their minds, get a fresh perspective, feel better about where they are and excited about where they are going. If you’re a coach, therapist or consultant then you should have the knowledge and skills to do this. If don’t yet have the skills, do the work anyway. That’s how one acquires the skills, by just doing it.

Success comes from good judgement
Good judgement comes from experience
Experience comes from bad judgement.

It’s clear to me that credibility has two components. The first one is the external component which comes in the form of skills, qualifications, experience, grey hair and how many people are willing to recommend you. Most of this can be attained through work, study, practice and the passing of time. I know several people that spent way too much time and energy developing external credibility and hardly any time on the second component. My friend Penny has loads of this, except the age and grey hair.

The second is the internal component which is self esteem, inner confidence and how deeply you can accept yourself despite all the reasons not to. How credible are you to yourself? You can develop this credibility through meditation, self awareness and therapy. Many people develop this by demonstrating their skills, and enjoying their work. My friend Penny has loads of this too.

So what’s the real reason that Penny isn’t doing what she really wants to? The first lesson I learnt on my Psych course is that the presenting problem is very seldom the real problem. However, that’s not the subject of this article and I’ll have a chat with Penny again soon.

Naïve enthusiasm, inner confidence, self acceptance have been my main sources of credibility. Add to that persistence and doing the work for many years and I have some decent credibility. I also have a cupboard filled with framed certificates, but I think that’s where they belong. I don’t want my clients to see my certificates and label me. I’d rather let my knowledge and skills speak for themselves.

People don’t care how much you know
until they know how much you care.

In closing, I would like to offer you two poems that I was fortunate enough to have on a plaque in my bathroom while growing up. This embodies the second component of credibility, believing in yourself.

Thinking

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t,
If you like to win, but you think you can’t
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

- Walter D. Wintle – 1905

 

Here is another inspirational verse in a similar vein and equally powerful.

 

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

-          Calvin Coolidge